please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
