my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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