I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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