Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
