Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
