He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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