I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
