After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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