we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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