He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
