Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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