my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
