So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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