are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
