There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
