Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
