return my video game
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
