Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
