Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
