We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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