You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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