Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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