i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
