who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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