like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
