i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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