Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
