I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
