i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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