hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
