He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
