You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
