Christians are straight up FREAKS
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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