At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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