You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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