She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
