i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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