the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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