i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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