I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
