the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
