Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am naked and annoyed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
