come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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