My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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