its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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