you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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