it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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