My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
