please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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