So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she peed on how many people?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
