his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
