I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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