i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
